Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
Publication Date: 10th February
My rating: 4 stars
Aysel and Roman are practically strangers, but they've been drawn into an unthinkable partnership. In a month's time, they plan to commit suicide - together. Aysel knows why she wants to die: being the daughter of a murderer doesn't equal normal, well-adjusted teenager. But she can't figure out why handsome, popular Roman wants to end it all....and why he's even more determined than she is. With the deadline getting closer, something starts to grow between Aysel and Roman - a feeling she never thought she would experience. It seems there might be something to live for, after all - but is Aysel in so deep she can't turn back?
My Heart and Other Black Holes had been receiving various forms of praise from my blogging friends and readers I had been following. If you know me by mow you would know I love a good emotional read from time to time, one that has you sobbing your eyes out and is constantly on your mind days or even months later. So I was all prepared to be overcome with feels when I picked up this book. I even had my good friend Allie read this book with me, just in case it became too much for me. I don’t know if I was disappointed that the book didn’t end up evoking a strong emotional reaction within me as much as I was hoping, it was a beautiful read never the less, but not as hard hitting as I expected.
Aysel has had enough of life, after everything that happened with her dad, everyone just assumes the same is going to happen to her, Aysel is even starting to believe this for herself and she so doesn’t want to go there. Aysel is just passing her time until she stumbles across the perfect partner Roman, he also is done with life, they both agree on April 7th as the day that they will finally end it, Aysel and Roman have no way back now, but just to spend the days leading up to it the way they can, however no one expected that these six weeks would change everything especially not Aysel.
Warga dealt with the issue of depression really well in My Heart and Other Black Holes. She properly got into the minds of Aysel and was able to give us all the thoughts and feelings of a girl going through one of the hardest periods of her life. It was harder for Aysel as she didn’t really have anyone there for her. She had isolated herself from her friends after the stuff with her dad went down and didn’t feel as if she belonged to her mum’s family. She had also got to the point where she couldn’t be bothered to make the effort in class either, but as soon as Roman made an appearance in her life, everything didn’t change immediately, they started planning the ending straight away, but I liked how Warga incorporated little glimpses of hope along the way. They weren’t even things that could make the biggest change or make you stop and think about things, but they were things like a small smile from Roman, a last time visit to the fair or even going to the zoo which sort of snowballed in making Aysel want to live. Like I said it wasn’t a change that was immediate, especially the way Aysel’s feelings had become the past few years you can’t just expect to pull anyone out of that. But Warga worked in these small glimmers in really eloquently, some I didn’t even realise were happening, others had me grinning from ear to ear, because the more time I got to spend with Roman and Aysel the more I wanted them to live too, they had so much to experience, so much to offer the world that they hadn’t given the chance and to be honest I don’t think I could have dealt with another character I’d become hugely fond of dying (not after the last book I’d read). So as the day came nearer and nearer, I started hoping, that one of these characters would be enough to bring the other back from the brink. The last few days leading up to it really felt like an anxious time for me, I would at some point feel as if these characters could be possibly swayed and consider giving another shot at life, but then at times these feelings could be quickly smothered by a character reminding us why they had met in the first place and I would go to feeling all anxious all over.
I’m not going to say how things do turn out (you’re just going to have to read this book to find out for yourself). But let me say Warga wrote an incredibly beautiful story in My Heart and Other Black Holes. (Highlight to view spoiler) my only complaint was the blurting of I Love you just after 6 weeks, I don’t know if it was just me not realising they had progressed that far in their relationship. But that aside, I loved how Warga gave us Aysel’s and Roman’s relationship, there was so much I learnt about these two characters and was able to take away from their story. When they say time always seems to fly by when you’re having a good time, this I feel could be said about Roman and Aysel, although they hadn’t got to know each other with the best intention, the bringing together of these two characters was everything that they needed.